Borderlands

Starring: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Ariana Greenblatt, Jamie Lee Curtis, Florian Munteanu, Edgar Ramírez, Haley Bennett, Gina Gershon, Cheyenne Jackson

Director: Eli Roth

Based on the 2K Video Game series "Borderlands"

After his daughter Tiny Tina (Greenblatt) is kidnapped by a rogue soldier named Roland (Hart), Atlas (Ramirez) hires renowned bounty hunter Lilith (Blanchett) to track her down. Unfortunately for Lilith, this means returning to her home planet of Pandora which has become a violent wasteland full of “vault hunters” searching for a mysterious vault filled with an unknown treasure. With the help of a little robot named Claptrap (Black), Lilith finds Roland, Tina, and her bodyguard Krieg (Munteanu) but also discovers Atlas’s true intentions: use Tina to open the vault and harness whatever is inside for no good. With the help of Tannis (Curtis), they all must band together to protect Tina and find the vault before Atlas can.

People often wonder why more video games don’t get turned into films. Even the most popular ones with massive built-in fan bases have trouble. It took forever for Halo to even get its TV series. Now we have Borderlands, a star-studded attempt to spark the next video game blockbuster series and bring some beloved video game characters to life.

Things didn’t get off to a good start. First and foremost, this has been in development for at least 10 years with different directors attempting to tackle the popular video game. After finally climbing out of development hell, the movie filmed back in 2020 and is just now getting released. Secondly, credited director Eli Roth didn’t even finish filming, with executive producer/director Tim Miller completing reshoots while Roth filmed his passion project Thanksgiving (which completed filming and released last year)

The finished product reflects the chaos behind the scenes as this movie is just a mess. It’s very clear that the movie wants to imitate what made Guardians of the Galaxy popular, trying to balance the story with humor, colorful action and heart. However, Eli Roth is not James Gunn and the action can’t hold a candle to any of the films it’s trying to emulate. It doesn’t help that the special effects are lackluster (but not quite as bad as Expend4bles) and the script is downright awful. This leaves the movie feeling like an Asylum film that somehow got a theatrical release.

The cast tries their best, with Blanchett and Greenblatt at least looking like they are having fun getting what I presume is a pretty good paycheck. I haven’t played the games but it’s a wild bit of casting having Kevin Hart play a much taller and more physical character like Roland. Think 5’ 7” Tom Cruise being cast as 6’5” Jack Reacher. What I’m saying is that it’s a stretch that will probably have fans of the games up in arms. Not that it is really his fault but Edgar Ramirez should probably fire his agent at this point. The actor is much too talented to keep getting these paper-thin villain roles. The less said about Jack Black the better but I can safely say this is his most annoying character in a while. The rest of the talented cast are here for the paychecks and their effort very much shows it.

Bad movies can be enjoyable. But this movie commits the cardinal sin that hurts the most, it’s boring. You know what kind of film you’re in for when it starts with a bland voiceover about a prophecy.

It’s not as bad as you’re being led to believe but it’s also not so bad it’s good. Video games are still filled with cinematic potential as long as the care and effort is being put into them.

Grade: D+